How does something so small become so big... wait, that's wrong because giving someone you're word, or making a promise, is a big deal. Aren't you supposed to be able to trust what your husband says to you, even if it is something as small as I'll make dinner for you tonight. I am pretty lax with most things in our house, and do not mind constantly cooking & cleaning & being the housewife, but when Jess calls on his lunch break & says I'll make you dinner I let myself get excited. I know he has to go into the field this week but come on?! Making dinner takes 30 mins max?! And I even said I'll believe it when I see it, and he said baby I mean it I'm gonna make dinner. As I'm writing this we aren't talking that's how big of a fight it started. And as I write this I see how stupid it is that we are fighting over this but it means so much to me.
There is something not a lot of people know about me. Growing up, my birth dad made a lot of promises & rarely followed through on them, a big part of where my lack of faith in men came from. I told Jess from day 1 you must never make a promise to me you can not keep because that will break my heart more than anything else. AGGGGGHHHH
I'm just so flustered. I have a lot on my shoulders these days, and now we are talking about buying a house, but I'm not sure I can take on much more without giving something up, ya know?? agggghhh
Stressssfullll
Ok I'm done venting & gonna go try & talk things out with my frumpy (fucking grumpy) husband. <3
Always in my heart
c.smith
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