You knew what you were getting yourself into

Since day one of being with my husband I have been told by anyone and everyone that you don't know what you're getting yourself into this life isn't gonna be easy. Thank you guys for the words of encouragement. Now that we are married I hear all the time well you knew what you were getting yourself into when you got married so you shouldn't complain when you're alone, or be sad your husband isn't there. EXCUSE ME?! You live this life with no complaining, no tears, and no sadness. I fell in love with Jess for who he is, not he job, HIM!
When I started planning our wedding during his first deployment my mother told me she wasn't sure if it was the best idea to plan so early, what if something were to "happen" to Jess. At the time I just brushed it off. All I wanted was for him to come home and any time someone would say something like that I would walk away and cry and later have nightmares. Jesse came home safely, and my mom was thrilled. Well 2nd deployment was a few months away and we were signing the papers for our brand new house and my mom asks me if that is the best idea, what if Jess doesn't come back. I then got overwhelmed with sadness but once again I let it go and let the nightmares come back.
Well tonight my mom brought it back up, that I shouldn't complain cause I knew what I was getting myself into and this time I broke, I may have known what I was getting into but it does not make it any easier for me or for Jess. Then she brought up the well God forbid something happens to him Chels, and I broke again, and I ended up hanging up on her after saying you don't think I don't think about that every second of every day. I know that is a possibility, I know he could not come home and he could possibly die. Every day of my life I worry about him.
I'm so tired of hearing that.
always in my
heart
c.smith